


A place in my mind where you can stay

by BrightCrystal



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Plot Twists, i guess some sort of tag for mental illness also applies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 00:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16294832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightCrystal/pseuds/BrightCrystal
Summary: Paulo wakes up next to Alvaro, and they spend the morning together. Things are just like they used to be.





	A place in my mind where you can stay

**Author's Note:**

> So this happened because of Scandinavian crime TV. I watched the third season of Bron, and then... well, then i wrote this. Sometimes i feel like there's a fine line between "really sad" and "dumb", and i'm honestly not sure where this landed. Also, i guess i should apologize regardless of where it landed, so: sorry.

Paulo was woken up by some random noise outside the window. He stayed still, trying to go back to sleep for a moment, but when it failed, he slowly turned to lay on his side. He blinked open his eyes, and he was relieved to see that Alvaro was still there, also laying on his side, watching Paulo with a small smile on his face.

“Good morning,” Paulo said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep.

“Morning,” Alvaro replied.

“Why are you smiling?” Paulo asked, not able to keep a smile from forming on his own lips too.

“No reason. I guess watching you just makes me happy,” Alvaro said, smile growing wider. It made Paulo blush, and he wondered what he had ever done to deserve this man. Alvaro reached out his hand, and traced his fingers along Paulo’s upper arm. Paulo closed his eyes, and felt the warmth of Alvaro’s touch in his entire body. He wished that he could feel that sensation all the time. Alvaro’s touch had always been a little magical.

“Did you sleep well? You seemed pretty tired last night,” Alvaro continued.

“Yeah, I did. Thanks. This last week has just been so hectic. I’ve had like a million deadlines, so I’ve been working like crazy,” Paulo answered. Last night was the first time in a week that he had seen Alvaro, so he felt like he needed to explain. Alvaro just nodded.

“Have you had time to see any friends? You can’t spend all of your time studying.” It was so typical of Alvaro to worry about Paulo. Ever since they met three years ago, Alvaro had always tried to make sure that Paulo didn’t get too bogged down in his studies, and tried to get him to think of other things during the weekends and evenings. And when he knew that Paulo had important exams and needed to work longer days, he would send him messages every few hours to remind him to take a break and drink some water. But the fact that Alvaro still worried about him, even now, made Paulo’s heart hurt a little extra.

“I’m seeing Fede tonight. Juan and Alex may be coming too,” Paulo said.

“Good. Is Alex making any progress with that girl he’s been after for the past… like… eternity?” Alvaro asked. It made Paulo giggle, and he gave Alvaro a long update on what was going on in Alex’s love life.

When the conversation died down, they just lay there, looking at each other, smiling a little, hands next to each other on the bed, but not quite touching. The sunlight streaming in through the window gave Alvaro’s face a beautiful glow, and it made Paulo think he looked like an angel. Maybe he was one.

“I love you,” Paulo whispered.

“I love you too. Always,” Alvaro said softly.

Paulo wasn’t sure how much time passed, but in the end Alvaro broke the silence.

“I think we should get up,” he said, voice little more than a whisper.

Paulo sighed, wanting to stay in bed a little longer, but since it was already past noon, Alvaro was probably right.

Alvaro remained in bed while Paulo walked slowly to the bathroom. He showered quickly, but when he returned to the bedroom to get dressed, Alvaro was gone. He panicked for a moment, and hurried to peek into the kitchen. Alvaro was sitting on the counter, wearing only his jeans.

“Still here,” he said when he saw Paulo, smiling kindly and giving a small wave.

Paulo’s heartbeat got steadier, and he stayed for a moment just looking at Alvaro, before turning back and walking into the bedroom. He opened the big closet, and grabbed some clothes from one of his shelves. The clothes on his side were all messed up, but the ones on Alvaro’s side were neatly folded. When they first moved in together, they had argued about this; Alvaro had made a big deal out of having a neat apartment, whereas Paulo didn’t really care. He now wished they hadn’t argued about such trivial things, he wished that he had just folded his damned clothes.

He put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that Alvaro had given him for his birthday. It was a black shirt with a picture of a pug on it, and the text _Pug life._ Alvaro had gotten it for him because the pun had made Paulo laugh for two hours straight the first time he saw it. It was the best birthday present Paulo had ever gotten.

Alvaro was still sitting on the counter when Paulo walked into the kitchen to make coffee. He didn’t bother with the coffee machine, instead putting the kettle on, opting for the instant kind.

“I like your t-shirt,” Alvaro said as Paulo was stirring the liquid in his mug.

Paulo looked up at him, and there was a cheeky grin on Alvaro’s face. Paulo smiled a little, still preoccupied with his coffee. Alvaro’s mug remained empty and untouched by the sink.

When he was done he turned to face Alvaro, leaning his hip against the counter just next to Alvaro’s thighs. It was nice to just be together. They didn’t need to talk, they could just hang out. It was so easy to be with Alvaro, and that was probably the main reason why Paulo had fallen in love with him in the first place.

“So what else is going on with you?” Alvaro asked.

“Not much, I guess. I’m still a little behind with some of my courses, but my professor is great, she’s really understanding,” Paulo replied, sipping his coffee. “Oh, and…umm. I thought about maybe moving the coffee table in the living room? Just a tiny bit. So that it would be closer to the sofa. If that’s okay with you?” He was a little nervous about asking. He knew that Alvaro would be okay with it, but he didn’t really want to change anything, even with Alvaro’s permission.

“Paulo, this is your apartment, of course you can move the coffee table,” Alvaro said with a frown on his face, sounding worried.

“It’s _our_ apartment,” Paulo insisted. Alvaro let out a sigh and buried his face in his hands.

“Listen… this whole situation, you know, with you living here alone… Maybe it’s not… I mean, maybe you should go back to live with your mum again? Just for a little more time?” Alvaro said carefully.

“No,” Paulo answered firmly. They had had this same discussion a hundred times in the last couple of months, so there was no need to have it again.

“Paulo –“ Alvaro began, but was interrupted.

“No! I’m not going back. I can’t… I don’t want to live there. One month was enough. I don’t want to go back.”

“But –“

“I said no,” Paulo growled, starting to get angry.

“But why?” Alvaro asked, voice calm and composed, like always.

“Because… Because you… You’re here. You’re not at my mum’s house,” Paulo admitted quietly. Alvaro gave him a meaningful look, something between sympathy and disappointment.

“Are you taking your meds?” Alvaro asked seriously.

“Yes, I’m taking my meds,” Paulo bit out, still feeling angry.

“Are they working?”

“Well obviously not!” he almost shouted at Alvaro. He shook his head, and looked at Alvaro sheepishly.

Paulo needed to defuse the situation, so he grabbed his phone, just so he would have something else to do than look at Alvaro. There were a couple of messages from Fede, but when he was about to unlock the phone, he noticed the date that was displayed across the screen. His heart did a painful lurch, and he rushed to the hallway and started to put on his shoes.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Alvaro asked, a little alarmed.

“It’s our anniversary,” Paulo said, not stopping what he was doing. “It’s three years since our first date.” His voice was a bit frantic, and then he turned to Alvaro: “Why didn’t you remind me?”

“Well if you didn’t remember it, how could I?” Alvaro retorted, raising his eyebrows.

Paulo felt like crying.

“Please be here when I come back,” Paulo said, his voice vulnerable and pleading.

Alvaro gave Paulo an apologetic look and shrugged. Of course Paulo knew that it didn’t work like that, but he still had to try.

Paulo nodded at Alvaro and took one long look at him before grabbing his coat and heading out.

He practically ran to the florist two blocks away, and got one single red rose. After that, he walked to the nearest bus stop, clutching the rose tightly in his hand. There was a chill in the air, but the October sun still had some warmth in its rays. Paulo didn’t feel any of it. He just felt sadness, and he felt like he had disappointed Alvaro by forgetting their special day.

The journey seemed to take forever, so when he finally got off the bus, he wasted no time, heading straight for where he was going without paying much attention to his surroundings. He knew the way by heart: through the side gates, and straight down the big gravel path, then to the left, along the narrower path, eight rows.

Every time Paulo came here, he felt a pain in his chest. It was the same ache he had felt that day four months ago when… when it happened. It wasn’t quite as sharp anymore, but it was still overwhelming. In a way, he never wanted it to stop hurting.

He knelt down in front of the tombstone with Alvaro’s name on it.

“Happy anniversary, Alvaro. I’m so sorry I almost forgot,” he said. He placed the rose at the foot of the stone, whispering “I love you”.


End file.
